1. aa step 1 in daily life Tom Evans

    After 25 years of drinking, and having failed at my many attempts to stop by myself, I wound up at an AA meeting in June 1997. I had rang AA the previous night and two guys picked me up and took me to a church hall. I sat down, looked around, probably about a dozen people there. I listened. I identified with their stories. I was asked if I wanted to say something. I did. I said “my name is Tom and I am an alcoholic”…then burst into tears. I had seen the steps on the banner on the wall. I understood step one. Alcohol had controlled my life for a number of years, I virtually wouldn’t go anyplace if there wasn’t going to be some booze around. I still managed to hold down a fairly good job, a job where booze was accepted as part of the deal. When I wasn’t drinking, I was thinking about drinking. Once I started drinking, I didn’t want to stop. When I seriously tried to stop, I found I couldn’t. So, powerless over alcohol, was easy for me to accept. So was the next bit: my life had become unmanageable. I had got myself into a lot of scrapes over the years, the usual stuff. Jobs, relationships, money, health. I was good at leaving, running away. I was good at lying, blaming and judging. I was not good at responsibility. However I had survived the onslaught. At 42 it got too much. I wanted to kill myself. This was not attention seeking. I had found a place to jump, stood on the precipice, could not quite tip myself over. Surely gassing myself had to be easier. Suicidal tendancies were not normal and they were a sure sign of unmanageability. I had completed step one fully at my first meeting. The BB and 12×12 fairly well describe the truth of step 1. I guess it comes down to : can you control alcohol intake? If the answer is no, you are powerless when you drink. Is your life pretty much normal? If you are at your first AA meeting, you can bet that it isn’t. Complete defeat was essential for me. I had had enough. Mary, not quite sure if this sort of comment was what you expected on your blog. Let me know if I dribble on too much. Hopefully more people may jump in and comment . Kind regards Tom

    • aa step 1 in daily life magknj72@gmail.com

      Tom, You are a wealth of experience and information, I bet you are very needed at your hall! Have you ever used the steps in any other aspect of your life? Or recommended them to someone outside of AA?

      • aa step 1 in daily life Tom Evans

        Yes, very much so Mary…..the principles outlined in the steps can be utilized by anyone in all areas of their life. I am not a preacher or a teacher, I am just grateful that I stumbled into AA. The principles are ancient and have been passed down through the centuries by many prophets, poets, visionaries and enlightened souls, whose only desire were to assist in breaking the bondage of ignorant human thinking. In my early sobriety I consumed many books that spoke about spirituality, and indeed, the majority all pointed to the same place. That place WITHIN us all where truth, love and understanding can be found. Almost by default and as a result of an awakening within me, family, friends and workmates become drawn to inner peace. I sponsor people in AA and strictly stick to the BB and 12×12. I talk compassionately and quietly to colleagues who may be troubled. My family completely accepted my disease and my desire to change. Practicing non-judgement, accepting what is and having a loving attitude towards life and living enables one to have more time to really have a look at the wonder of creation and find ones place and purpose in it. I look forward to your post on the next step (2) in which the real journey of spirituality begins…..Kind regards Tom

  2. aa step 1 in daily life Kerry

    I can only imagine the struggle one might have with a serious addiction. My own father struggles mightily with alcohol addiction. My struggle is less severe, but it has become a serious struggle. I am addicted to sugar and carbs and have recently been diagnosed as pre-diabetic. I make lifestyle changes and then fall back into old habits. It’s really tough. To be healthy, I find that I cannot indulge in much processed sugar or anything that my body will process into sugar. It’s a struggle to control this addiction. I’m hoping that over time it will get easier.

    • aa step 1 in daily life

      I have struggled with the same addictions that Kerry lists; carbs and eating unhealthy food. I am slowly conquering this though by admitting my problem and focusing on long-term solutions like retraining my taste buds and finding foods that are good for me and taste great. It is a process and I am not perfect. I am achieving small victories.

  3. aa step 1 in daily life

    It seems there is always something that wants to render us powerless. Our flesh cries to be fed with all sorts of delightful goodies which will enslave us when we indulge. My lastest is food, foods not good for my body to function but still it craves it smooth chocolate taste or that thin salty crisp chip. It will be wonderful to no longer to struggle in these areas when we get to heaven. But for now…it’s fight, fight, fight against the desire of the flesh. Good post.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *