Willingness
Step 8 - “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
Step 8 is all about Willingness…..”…became willing to make amends…..”
Every single one of us that has ever lived has harmed someone, somewhere at some point in our lives. Either we spoke to harshly towards someone or perhaps we told a lie thinking they wouldn’t know or maybe we forgot to do something that was important to someone else.
Are we aware that we have harmed someone? Did we make an amends?
Quite often, like little children, we will make excuses for our actions. “Well, she started it!” or “He snapped at me first so I snapped back!”. Here’s a good one, “I didn’t want to hurt her feelings so I told a little white lie.”. We rationalize wrong doings all the time and in many ways and we have horrible role models in celebrities & politicians (but they could easily fill up a post of their own so I won’t get into them). Maybe the other person did treat us poorly first but that has no bearing on how we CHOOSE to act. Its not like we couldn’t control ourselves and had no choice but to yell or lie and so on. We do know right from wrong, right?
In making our list we must be thorough. We must look for things we neglected to do or things we left undone that hurt others. We can’t leave out the little things either. We have to think honestly about the harm we caused others as we were thinking about ourselves, even if we weren’t aggressive toward them. Admit the harm we did to loved ones, friends, co-workers by being irresponsible, moody, critical, impatient and shameful. Searching for anything large or small that added to another person’s burdens & worries or that saddened or challenged them in any way. Look for lies we told or promises we broke, ways we manipulated or used others to get what we wanted. Listing everyone living or dead who was affected. Our step 4 inventory may be a useful guide in this process.
Quite often, as we make our list and we are remembering the wrongs we have done, shame and guilt will come to the surface. Remember, we gave those to the Lord when we confessed our wrongs to him in Step 5. Let him lift the burdens of guilt and shame as we take one more honest look at troubles in our relationships and the part we played in them. By becoming willing to make amends, we benefit from the peace that comes with knowing that the Lord is pleased with our efforts. This step helps us take the actions that enable Him to set us free from our past…..almost like a clean slate.
It shows a lot of maturity and spiritual growth when we become the kind of person that readily admits the wrongs we do toward others……doing it because we recognize the fault in ourselves and we want to do better, not because someone else pointed it out and told us to.
If this is the kind of person you have become….congrats! You’ve come a long way!! As for me, I’m still a work in progress 
So well said! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for stopping by!
Very good and thoughtful post. Thanks for sharing with us at Together on Tuesdays
Such a toughie sometimes!
I think we’re all “work in progress” beings. As long as we realize and aren’t too hard on ourselves, I think we’ll do fine. Nice post.
Thanks, Theresa!
Great post, thank you for sharing! Have a great weekend ahead!
Thank you, Ashleigh, you too!
It can be hard conquering emotions. Thanks for sharing this inspirational message
Such a beautiful post. Everyday we all need to work on improving ourselves and how we treat others. Thanks for sharing!
Great well thought out post!
This is hard but once we are willing to forgive those that have hurt us as well as ourselves for the people we hurt, it does transform your life.
Thanks for sharing & linking up over at Oh My Heartsie Girl. Hope to see you at next week’s party.
Sarah-Ann @ Living Intentionally Simple
I have to bookmark this so I can read it again! Words that have been used to describe me:
Stubborn
Obstinate
Recalcitrant
Words that have not been used to describe me:
Willing
Eager
Accepting
So. When I was reading this I had the strong desire to shut the screen and walk away. My brain REALLY doesn’t want to hear about being Willing. Haha. But I so need this in my life. I’m going to reread it until my stubborn little brain willingly accepts the entire message. (See what I did there?)
Thanks for writing this.
Randi, I am so glad my ‘Willingness’ post can be of use to you. That is the exact reason I am writing about the 12 Steps….so glad you stopped by!!
still a work in progress here as well.
Thank you for sharing such postive & uplifting words. I believe you have to be willing to admit when your wrong in order to become more than you was once. Great reflection post.
Exactly, Leana……thanks for stopping by!!
Sounds like that must take a lot of courage. Thanks for sharing.
Great post! I love that willingness to make amends comes before the actual amends. Becoming ready to make amends is harder than making the actual amends for me.
Very true especially if we create a bunch of hype in our minds about what may or may not take place when we make our amends. Thanks for stopping by, Beth!
Great post…….I think we all need to go thru a 12 step program on our own about once
a year to keep us clean fit vessels.
Cause we need to keep short accounts with God, and we are more joyful people that way.
Thanks for taking the time to write this, such important truths you have shared, and we
are all a work in progress.
I like the saying I am not as good as I am going to be, but I am not as bad as I used to be!! lol Sooooooo True!
Blessings hon,
Nellie
Thanks so much, Nellie! Great saying!
I think your post has so many truths. We have all hurt someone in life, both by accident and also on purpose. It hard to escape that our actions can have such awful impacts. I pray for forgiveness and try to make amends. Sometimes it is hard, but with faith we can overcome. Thanks for sharing. Now I need to read the other parts of the series.
Thanks so much for your input, Mary! I hope you enjoy the other posts in the series as well.
Very nice post. Thanks for sharing.
Very tough and hard to do sometimes. Thanks for sharing at the #HomeMattersParty
Thanks for stopping by, Vickie!
Thanks for adding this to the Healthy Living Link Party. We hope you will come back next Wednesday.
Thoughtful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing.
Such an inspiring post. We are all still a work in progress in many ways.
Thanks for this heartfelt post that has been an encouragement to many.
Kathleen
Fridays Blog Booster Party
A great post, and a good reminder. Thanks for linking up #HomeMatters Linky Party. Hope you will be back this week! Rhonda
How beautiful and inspiring. Thanks for sharing #ConfessionsLinkUp
I like how this is called willingness because it is our willingness to admit when we are wrong, and also being able to forgive when someone has wronged us. Thanks for sharing this excellent article on Social Butterfly Sunday!